9.29.03
(In discussion with my pregnant cousin - a few months behind me)
I cannot remember when I went to the doc the first time… maybe around 6 weeks or so. But as one place did not want to see me until about 3 months which I thought was too long. I ended up going with a private doctor and am pleased with who I have. My California Gyn. said that she would do an ultrasound at 7 weeks, but I decided to stay closer to home and got a new doctor. He recommend an ultrasound at 20 weeks and said that it was not necessary earlier. They usually just check the due date and confirm the pregnancy (but if you have accurate records of your previous menstruation, that is easy to know accurately as well as the fact that you are pregnant!). They did an ultra sound for me at 12 weeks because they could not hear the baby’s heartbeat. All was fine and they have been able to hear it since then. I think they are doing my 20 week ultrasound tomorrow (we’ll see). I’m at 27 weeks now. The doc was busy last time and I was fine with that. I have read different things about ultrasounds including that they may not be necessary in many cases. I will discuss this with my doc tomorrow and go on his recommendation.
I was the same way (nauseous, but not vomiting). Never threw up once (also thanking God! - lol). :) I have always been a big salad eater and all of the sudden I could not eat salad at all. I was eating a primarily vegetarian diet and all of the sudden, the soy products (s y burgers, tofu, etc.) turned my stomach. I had to start eating chicken again so that I would not get sick. Once I got into my 2nd tri, it did get better and I am back to a mostly vege diet again which I prefer. You should follow your instincts and eat what feels comfortable for you. Try to stay away from food that is not healthy (sugar types, processed, food colored, etc.). There should be an acceptable range of stuff you will like in that category. Go to a health food store to get some ideas if you are not sure.
Do you exercise? You might want to try a prenatal yoga class. I’m sure that there is something near you. I have been practicing yoga for several years, but the prenatal class really helped me. They say that the more prepared physically you are for your delivery, the better that you will do. I have remained pretty active the entire time and have felt pretty good. For a while there, I was trying to keep up with my old self (was training for my second triathlon when I found out) but once I accepted my slower pace, it has been much easier. Any stretching or exercise will ease (not completely avoid) much of the discomfort.
My due date is Dec 30th and looking forward to it. I am officially in my 3rd trimester now and I have been tired, but overall in great health. I have not been sick at all including avoiding my semi-annual sinus infections! :)
No, not going to find out the sex of the baby. We only plan for one so either way will be a blessing. Plus, my niece was supposed to be a nephew so we would rather not know then be wrong. :)
No, not really going to decorate the baby’s room. We have a retreat (size of a bedroom) off of our master, currently called the “yoga room” which is where the baby will be at first. This is not permanent (probably the 9 - 12 months) so I don’t want to paint that room since it is just temporary. We have a “baby room” also so we will fill that appropriately when the time comes.
For me, I was showing at 4 weeks (no one except me could tell). I sort of knew because something inside of me was different (mentally) though I denied it to myself. I had been really hungry and a pair of my pants had been so tight that I was uncomfortable even after I took them off. I had been on an exact 28 day cycle (naturally) so when I was late by one day with the other indicators, I took a home pregnancy test. I always drink a lot of water in the morning so the test was diluted so I did not believe the results. I then took another one which was just as vague (though the 800 hotline said that I was pregnant). We have 3 bathrooms and Shön decided that he needed to use the one where my test was sitting during the 3 minutes so I had to tell him what I was doing. He sent me down to Panned Parenthood where they confirmed that I was pregnant. I still could not believe it. I even knew my exact fertilization date! So at 10 weeks… I’m sure your pants are indeed tight though people will probably not notice until later.
Shön is really supportive and loving, excited too. Neither of us can believe how big I have gotten (seems huge to us). :) I have had to slow down my work schedule and he has been really helpful with that too.
I think that I will have a shower, but I really don’t want to make a big deal. I don’t want to ask for gifts, though it will be helpful. I’ll send something to you when I figure out what I am doing. I’ll probably do it towards the end of next month.
Yes, in this case, that is definitely a stupid question! hahahaha :) My mom is very excited. I’ve just been keeping to myself so it is kind of weird. She wanted to come and stay before Christmas until the baby is born. I had to decline because it would just be too much for me. I think her feelings were hurt, but I think she understands. I know that she loves me, but I need to keep some sanity too. I’m sure your parents are excited to be joining the “Grandparents” club so at least they will be able to get together and have a bragging picture ceremony! :)
Good question and quite common (constipation). At first, I was a little. I normally eat a lot of salad so the fiber would keep me very regular each morning. Since I was unable to eat salad, my body was different. I did eat a lot of fruit and that helped. Main things to try… No Sugar, NO CAFFEINE (bad for the baby and not good for you), limit salt, eat whole foods, DRINK TONS OF WATER (even though it will have you going to the bathroom all day long, it will help a lot)… as a matter of fact… only drink water for now that way you are getting enough), eat foods with non-hydrogenated oils in them (low in saturated fat) which will help lube “your insides” so that everything slides along better. Keep in mind that your body is taking all available nutrients from your food so it is leaving only the yucky stuff left to make its way out. You can take the psyllium husks (I prefer the ones at the health food store without the additives mixed with pulpy orange juice to mask it. Take every evening with lots of water (don’t skip a night… takes a little while to work). I keep coming back to drinking lots of water. I drink two full glasses each morning when I wake (after brushing teeth) as recommended by my regular doctor before I was pregnant. When you are hydrated, your body can function better. Once I got in my 2nd tri, it was much better. Now I have no constipation at all and am back to my “morning” schedule. :) Be careful not to “push” too much or you may induce hemorrhoids (not a problem for me thus far).
Are you reading? Best thing to do while waiting for the doc is to read, read, read! I got the preggy bible… What to Expect When Your Expecting. Don’t make that the only book you read. It can be really scary and while containing good information, it is not very nurturing which is something that I feel is important for your first time around. I came to this conclusion myself, but my yoga teacher was telling me the same thing so I know it was not just me. I had to skip all the “1 in a billion” type things to go wrong because it was too stressful. I figure that if my doc says that I need to worry about it, I’ll go back and read it. Other books that I have are a couple of Australian books that my friend sent me (don’t think you can buy here). Those were helpful because it is less American and gives a different perspective, though complimentary. I also have a couple of Yoga and Pregnancy books which have contained helpful info on the more natural side of pregnancy. I also have a Vegetarian pregnancy book which I probably like best. Though I am not full vegetarian, I find the book to be very helpful for diet tips and nurturing for the natural lifestyle.
NOTE AFTER THE FACT: We planned for the baby to be in our Master retreat (yoga room) rather than down the hall but it never happened. It started with him in the bassinet about 12 inches from me for the first week and he has been in our bed ever since then. I had read all about “co-sleeping” but I had to find the right balance for me (I don’t believe everything I read or hear). What I found out first hand is that Morgan is happier with us and that I can respond to his needs before he even wakes up. Since about 8 weeks, we sleep all through the night and I lift my arm to feed him a few times but never really wake up. We are both happy and rested by morning.
10.6.03
Overall, I’m feeling pretty good. I think that I am getting cold, but hopefully not (fingers crossed, I haven’t been sick so far). My glucose test went well today. I keep hearing about the glucose orange drink and how awful it is, but it turned out to be pretty good. It was like orange soda with fizzies and all. The only bad part was drinking that with no food. I think I’ll pass the test because I was not feeling sick or anything other than complete hunger from the “fasting” part.
The baby is moving much stronger all the time. Today, when I was driving home, I could distinctly feel a foot coming from my belly. It was really small and was sticking strait out. I tried to press on it to see what the baby would do. The baby was showing me how strong it is then retracted the foot and kicked back a few seconds later. It was soooooo cool! :) I have been feeling movement all the time, but could not completely imagine how it translated to the baby’s body. :) I had an ultrasound last week and all is well and completely healthy! Ooooooooo, oooooo, ooooo, here came the foot again just now! :) Now it is back in again… just giving you the blow by blow over here! lol :) Anyway, you can see that I am really excited. We start the Bradley birthing class tomorrow and am looking forward to that.
Another blast from the past… My best friend (the foot again… had to stick that in there!) from first grade and I got together last week when I was in Cali. We have not talked/seen each other in over 10 years. That was pretty cool. We each had thought of each other much over the years. The only strange thing is that I did not feel as excited as I expected to be. It is like due to the extreme excitement of the baby, everything thing else, wonderful though it may be, is not as exciting as this. I asked her if I seemed “weird” and explained it to her. She said that I seemed very excited, but inside, I knew that I was “preoccupied”. I guess there is nothing wrong with that. I am just being sensitive so that I don’t seem cold to others. Even in my email, I have not been as regular as I usually am.
10.10.03
Other stuff… went for a my glucose test on Monday. I hate pokes! I had to go back yesterday for the 3 hour test because my levels were high (4 pokes that time). Pretty much sucked. I hope that it turns out ok. I’ll let you know. :)
10.11.03
(describing my birthday Oct 10th)
We spent the first part of the day working and then went for a Fat Burger (my meal of choice) and saw Kill Bill. It was pretty interesting. I think it was too loud for the baby because the baby was moving almost the entire time (opens a whole other conversation!). When we got home, we ordered pizza and I made stroop wafels because that was a treat that I had been craving. :) Shön gave me a dozen white roses. They were so beautiful.
Today, I went to yoga and was pretty tired when I returned so I took a nice nap and then we have been working since.
I’m ready to start seriously planning this baby shower if you are ready. I have about 25 people that will likely come. Dates are up to you.
I started my Bradley class last week. It was cool. I’m sure it will get better after I warm up to the group. You know how long that takes me so it should be more comfortable then.
When we talk next, I’ll fill you in on this big baby trapped in my tummy! :)
10.21.03
Who knows… I have been soooooo flaky lately. Everything they say about preggy women is true! So with that, I’m glad that you emailed again. :)
Over all, we are both doing really well. I’m glad that the summer has ended and look forward to a nice COLD winter!
10.29.03
I’m glad to hear that you got the invitation. I really did not want to send out little bears and rattles on a generic card where you fill in the blanks… Not really my thing. I just sifted through a bunch of pics that we have taken over time. I actually a couple weeks preggy in each of them (all taken the same day). The pic on the front I especially liked because I was genuinely admiring the beauty of the mountain and did not even realize that Shön took a picture. I plan to have a different type of shower (different from anything that I have attended). No dirty diaper games or anything like that. Just a nice lunch followed by what I call a “sharing circle” where we will all share something special. That is the kind of energy that I am needing/wanting for this time in my life. :)
Over all, I am feeling really good mentally and spiritually. My body on the other hand is dragging a little further behind. I have all the “third trimester” symptoms (tired, tired, tired, and still flaky). Shön was gone in Asia for the last two weeks and just got back last night. I have been a wreck more or less because I was missing him a lot (Now, I must have my morning hugs!). He won’t have to leave again until next year so that is good. I am also taking Bradley natural childbirth classes. Shön has been going too. He is sooooo great! It is so obvious that this is not something that he enjoys or is very comfortable with but he never says a word. He has been so supportive and sweet and I can tell that inside he is as excited as I am about the changes ahead. The baby is moving a lot. Almost every hour, it is a foot here, a butt there. I can tell exactly where the baby most of the time. It is pretty funny. We sing songs and listen to music and everything. I think Shön may be getting some cramping from the baby moving himself! He is excited to see it, but I think as he tries to relate, his stomach draws in and his back hunches over. For me, no problem for all the moving. I actually feel better when it is happening as I know the baby is well. There is, of course, the occasional kick in my upper right side that catches me off guard and I have to move quickly to dodge it. :)
Myself, I hardly work anymore. I mean, I sit at my desk for about 6-8 hours, but what gets done is a true mystery! I told Shön that I was going to take maternity leave in December (Due Dec 31). I figured that after all these years of working, it might be called for… not that I’m not on leave at this exact moment anyway! Thank goodness I work from home and that my boss is my baby’s daddy! I surely would have been fired from any regular job by now… or I would never have showed up for work in the first place.
I have heard that the air in LA is pretty bad. Shön flew in there yesterday and his flight was delayed in landing. After that, he had to drive the long way around to Vegas because the I15 was closed. Even here in Vegas, this morning, the winds changed (were blowing off shore previously) and you can smell fire in the air and there is this thick haze everywhere. I have the blinds open and it has been like sunset all day. I have not seen weather like this before. It is kind of eerie. I have stayed inside though. My shower is not near any of the fires so it should be unaffected . Hopefully they will be out soon (so devastating), but when looking at the pictures on the news, it seems like a great feat to beat something so massive.
Well, I would like to type all day, but I don’t want to keep my nap waiting! lol. I’m still going to call you some day here! I’ve just been poking along and months fly by like weeks. :)
NOTE AFTER THE FACT: The end of this email refers to the California fires in 2003. I kept that in there because I specifically remember the day. There was a stillness everywhere, yet life and movement inside me.
10.29.03
Shön is home, Shön is home! :) He got back last night and it is so nice to have him back again. The baby is doing good and mentally and spiritually, I am feeling great. My body, however, is definitely dragging behind but fortunately I am home all the time so I don’t have much stress. :) The wind blew the smoke from So. Cali. in today. I can only imagine what it looks like there. There has been this red haze here all day today as if it were sunset all day long.
11.2.03
Over all, I have been good. I am now 32 weeks (due Dec 31). I continue to be super flaky and while my mind and spirit could not be more happy, my body is definitely dragging behind. My baby is big and moving all the time. I’m quite excited about the blessings to come.
11.2.03
I still have 8 weeks (in theory) and the more I learn the more prepared I become. Truthfully, I get a little freaked out every now and again between chapters when reading then I come back to the “whole picture” and I’m ok again. My husband just got back from 2 weeks in Asia and having him home has certainly calmed my spirit. :)
11.9.03
My baby shower was beautiful! I’m back home today. My friend Erika did such a nice job. Shön’s brother’s mother cooked for us and it was truly delicious (turkey Lasagna)! Erika was a great host as expected. After eating and hanging out, we went into Erika’s yoga studio (separate building at the back of her house) and had the “sharing circle” that I wanted to have in place of dirty diaper games. It was really nice. Many of the women got all teary eyed which only showed me that it was deep for all of us. Erika had this crystal stone that was shaped like a heart that we passed around and then she gave it to me to keep so it has all the good energy in it. I also bought a journal that I put some pictures in and had everyone sign it like a guest book/year book kind of thing. It is the baby’s book and when the baby is old enough to understand I will share it. The energy was exactly what I was looking for and it was wonderful for everyone to share… even the ones that could not be here physically. :) Then after that, we opened gifts. I got a bunch of extremely useful things that will be very helpful in welcoming the baby. One thing that I will say for sure… when I held up the first little outfit that I got, it all became even more real to me that this little baby in my belly would one day be in my arms in the outfit. It all became really “real” right then. :) And lastly… the baby knew that something was going on because the baby was really active the entire time. Many people got to share in feeling a kick or a movement all day. :)
11.10.03
I’m due on Dec 31st so we are getting close here. All is well and I’m feeling really good. I have no real complaints… just normal ones… feet, hands, back, etc. lol It was helpful that you shared about your gestational diabetes because I have it too. Mine is not bad and I just have to control it with diet. I guess the doc said it is more of a glucose intolerance than full blown diabetes. Truthfully, I think that I had it before, because I always felt like my blood sugar could be off, but never knew how to effectively explain it to my doc. I have been eating the right kind of diet though for years.
11.10.03
Sorry to take so long to respond. During pregnancy, every thing slows down except the calendar! :)
This year, I did not do the candy thing for Halloween. I just could not imagine getting up 30 times to give away free candy! lol :)
I have seen pics of the 4D ultrasounds. I did not have one. For me, it was not necessary and I’ll see the baby when it gets here. Yes, the entire family is very excited. I had my shower last weekend and there was plenty of good energy. I have not had a party in years so it was pretty fun too. I really don’t like the big fuss, but I guess that everyone else does. lol
11.16.03
Over all, I’m doing pretty good. Mentally and Spiritually, I am stronger than ever and physically, I am dragging more than ever! lol No real complaints though. I’m just really happy to be where I am and blessed with this opportunity to bear this child.
11.16.03
Yes, I’m doing really good. No real complaints besides being 3x my normal size! :) Yes, my due date is Dec 31st, but as you know, that is a guess at best. Shön and I both are preparing quite well. It was really cute to see him get excited at the stroller and bassinet from our shower. I think it is really making it “real” for him. :)
11.17.03
In addition to the Bradley classes, I’m also taking the birthing class at St. Rose. Specifically, I wanted to get their version of things so that I could have the widest range of info. I have found it helpful because it is taught by one of the nurses at works at the Siena campus
11.23.03
All is well here in the life of fat preggy lady! :) Surya has been coming over and giving me private yoga which has been helpful with her visualizations and affirmations. Shön and I even found ourselves at a toy party at her house last Friday. My how life is changing! :) Our backyard is done too. The gas company will be hooking up the pool/spa heater on Dec 1st. I begged them to do it sooner and even took my fat self to their office, but with no luck. Other than that, life as usual. :)
11.24.03
(talking to a yoga mom that did natural birth at St. Rose Siena) It is really helpful to know that a natural birth is possible at the same hospital that we are planning for. Some of the stuff (Bradley and otherwise) has been very helpful and quite scary at the same time. I need to listen less and listen more (if you know what I mean… “hear” what others say but “listen” to myself and my body). Overall, I’m feeling pretty good about the things that I have learned and feel more ready than I thought possible. I’m taking “maternity leave” starting Dec 1st (more of a joke than anything since I hardly work anymore anyway). I told my husband that after 8.5 years on the job, that I thought I could get away with some leave. He just smiled supportingly as he has been the entire time! It is funny and extremely sweet all at the same time.
11.24.03
That is pretty cool to hear that your mom is framing my baby shower invitation. I just like things to be the way that I like them so the idea of a generic shower card was not really my thing. My shower was really beautiful too. It was all that I could have asked for…. loving, kind, good energy from everyone that attended! I am so grateful for everything that I have. :)
I have kept journals in the past, but have not written anything in years. Suddenly on that night at that time, I had an irresistible urge to jot down my thoughts. That was the whole thing from the begging to the end. It was all that was on my mind that could be articulated as the rest was just a feeling of “knowing”. Not knowing that I was pregnant as it took me 3 tests to believe it, but knowing that in my something was different and that I “understood” it even if I didn’t “believe” it.
Writing for a living… pretty funny! I can only write if it is dear to me. I have been offered to be paid to write articles for industry stuff, but it is not my thing. :)
I only sent the invitation because you asked and it was cool enough to share. It is better that next time our babies get to meet their cousins! Plus, I’m sure it would not be much fun to travel preggy! We are heading to Cali for thanksgiving for our last visit with family. It will be nice to see everyone, but I will be glad to be back home again. We will be driving (so we have maximum flexibility) as I don’t want to be pressurized this late in pregnancy even thought my doc says it is ok.
I am fortunate that I will be able to be a stay-at-home mom and still work for our business. This took a lot of hard work and planning (thus a baby only after 8 years of marriage) and believe me, I take nothing for granted! :)
Isn’t it a trip to hear the heart? Shön would mimic the heartbeat making this “wobble, wobble” noise. It was pretty cute. I am huge now myself. I know that when I was first showing, I thought that I was big and now when I look back at pics, I feel like I hardly looked preggy, but I did compared to my original size. Lately, people keep asking me if I am due “tomorrow”. I do look like I’m hiding a basket ball in my belly, but between you and me, I got a lot on my backside too! :)
I hope that you are feeling better and that your pregnancy is healthy and happy! Have you been taking any classes or doing exercise? These things can be extremely helpful and don’t forget to butter/oil up to keep that skin tight! :)
11.25.03
Yes, Thanksgiving is my favorite one and I too am so thankful for our friendship! :) We will be heading to Cali either tomorrow or Thursday for our last travel before the baby. I am also making my traditional Christmas cookies for Thanksgiving. I am 5 weeks out!!! Can you believe it??? I can and I can’t all at the same time. This too I am thankful of! Also, today is a special day for Shön and I as I have officially been his girlfriend for 10 years! The date is inscribed in my engagement ring which I haven’t been wearing because my fingers are too fat (seriously!); our wedding bands, in my case is fused to the engagement ring, have our wedding date on it. Shön had a similar wedding band made for me that is larger. It has our baby’s name engraved inside it (I did not want to resize my wedding rings because the engravings are so dear to me. When my fingers get skinny again, I will have the temp one resized and wear on my right hand and go back to my normal ring. All is well and healthy with our baby. We just went to the doc again today and now I will be going weekly.
Starting on Dec 1st, I’m taking maternity leave (more of a concept than a true reality), but it will be nice to be able to catch up on some of my reading as what I don’t get done by the birth will just be lost.
11.26.03
(to a friend with great energy)
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Not for food or anything like that, but because it is a time to reflect and be thankful for all that we have (unlike the “gimme!, gimme!” of Christmas). And this year, in addition to all the other wonderful things that I have and am becoming, I am thankful to know you and have you be part of my pregnancy and my life! :)
11.30.03
I have really slowed down! I have even been getting that preggy stare lately. Yesterday after breakfast, Shön came downstairs and asked me “Don’t you have to get going?”. I was a bit confused for a moment there (wondering where I was going) then realized that I needed to leave for yoga in 7 minutes and was not even dressed yet. It was pretty funny. I was just in deep thought even though I plan my entire Saturday around attending yoga class. :)
12.7.03
We had a nice Thanksgiving. We went to Cali and go to spend time with all the family. It was nice. I’m doing pretty good here… as I say… “no real complaints”. Yep, I am 3 weeks out. As of last week, I was even 1cm dilated. Getting excited and feeling like it will be soon. Today, Shön and I went to Red Rock Canyon to take some pretty preggy pics.
12.14.03
Just letting you know that I’m still preggy! I’ll just keep moving forward until, I have no where left to go! lol
12.14.03
We are doing pretty good here. I am now 38 weeks along. Last Wed, I was 80% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated. Just making forward progress. I’ve been so slow and flaky. Of course, by now, the baby has been moving a lot (even with the slowing since I have been so big). Overall, I have had a great pregnancy. I have been feeling pretty good “with no real complaints” as I say… just the normal… fat and slow! lol :) We are so excited for our new arrival. I will let you know if anything exciting happens. :)
12.14.03
I’m glad that you enjoyed the invitation. For me, I just wanted to do something a little more special and close to my heart than the “fill in the blank kind”! And yes, I love the smallest deed… would take it any day! :) I wanted to thank you for the book idea at for my shower. I ended up buying a unique looking journal and passed it around during the shower. I had everyone write either something to us or to the baby. We did the same thing for our wedding (like a year book) and it is so special to look back on it. I totally would have overlooked the idea and was so happy for the suggestion (the smallest deed! lol). The baby shower overall was exactly what I wanted. It was filled with warmth and we had the sharing circle where everyone shared something for a better birth, good wishes, etc. I thought that this was a totally unique idea (which it is in our society) and I read just a few days ago, that that is standard in some cultures. It just seemed to be something that I was needing and the tears in many of the women’s eyes told me that they needed it too. :)
So now I am 38 weeks along. As of last Wednesday, I was 80% effaced and 1-2cm dilated. So we are making forward progress. I feel as though I still have so much to do and at the same time, feel that I have gotten so much done. All in all, I have had a wonderful pregnancy and have been very content the whole time. I have some little complaints, but nothing serious. I guess we all feel fat and slow which I guess is much needed for other reasons. :) I think that the yoga has helped me a lot. That and finding a small support group here in LV of mommies, expecting and experienced too. Shön has been truly wonderful as well! :)
12.18.03
My preggy update… still 80% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated (about the same as last week). I have been “putting it out of my head” because I was thinking about it too much and it was distracting me from letting by body do whatever it does. All in all, I’m feeling ok. Been a little stiff and swollen this last week so after I send this, I’m going for yoga.
12.18.03
Morgan is very warm and tells me it will be after Christmas! :)
12.21.03
We are doing pretty good here. As of last Wed, I was still 80% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated. I have been having a lot of practice contractions since then and feeling more pressure today so I’m sure I’ve progressed. My next appointment is on Wednesday again. All in all, I have few complaints though I can tell that I am getting close by my lack of energy and physical symptoms… but that did not stop us from taking a nice mild hike today at Red Rock Canyon (about 15 miles west from here). I’ll be sure to let you know if anything “exciting” happens or you likely hear it from Erika first. My official due date is Dec 31 so we right up here. :)
I’m glad that you enjoyed the cookies and thanks for the nice compliments. :) It is a tradition that my Grandmother had done for many years (she’s been gone for over 10 now). So once I was really on my own, I started making them for Christmas based on recipes that my mom gave me. I have modified some and tend to make the ones that either I like or that I get the most requests for. This year, I made all “drop” type cookies because the cookie cutter ones (my favorites) were too time consuming on my feet in this condition. lol :) So since we are staying home for Christmas, I had gotten a few requests for cookies early and it was a true delight to make them! A couple of years ago, Erika came over and helped and that was a nice treat too as we must have watched Charlie Brown’s First Christmas about a half dozen times.
12.21.03
Yep, my official due date is Dec 31st. :) We have some names, but we still don’t know the sex. I guess we will know soon enough. I have been taking an informal survey and think that I have a good idea myself. I’ll let you know if it works out. lol :) We chose Morgan for a girl or boy which has been nice because even thought we don’t know the sex, Morgan is a real person inside of me! We even went hiking today and I swear, it seemed like Morgan was hiking its own trail from the time we decided to leave! :)
We have taken a few pics over the last few days. I guess sort of like the last opportunity to get them. :) Over all, I’ve been feeling pretty good and am looking forward to having an excuse not to leave town for Christmas this year. :)
12.24.03
Merry Christmas. We will just be here hanging out by ourselves. I’m kind of thankful for that as I need the quiet at this time. I think that we may go see some sort of ocean imax movie that I have been wanting just to get out of the house. Other than that, it will be a quiet Christmas waiting for this beautiful gift. I am soooo huge now. It is almost hard to believe. I go to the doc again in a couple of hours for another update and am looking forward to knowing my status this week. :)
12.26.03
The doc said that I’m still the same and that he expects to see me at my appointment next week. Wednesday is my official due date. I was thinking that I was going to go over by a week (been thinking this instinctively for quite some time) so it looks like I might be back on track for that even though I got a little excited that it might be sooner.
12.26.03
All is well. Just pretty much waiting for my number to be called. I’m glad that it is the holidays too because my work demands are the least this time of year. I’m still trying to get a few things done before the baby gets here, but I have all the critical things so it is not a big deal from her on out.
12.26.03
I know what you are saying about the sex. Our niece was supposed to be a nephew (Shön’s youngest bro’s daughter). That is part of why we did not want to know… besides only planning for one child, I would rather not know than be wrong. Yep, I feel like I am ready. I’m still finishing a few things around the house (non baby related) so hopefully the baby will come right after I clean or this will be a never ending cycle! lol I feel as though I am well prepared. I have taken a natural child birth class (we plan for no meds or interventions) and a prepared child birth class offered by the hospital, hypno birthing class, child basics class, and infant CPR (mom was in town that night and I forced her to come - lol), plus I regularly practice my prenatal yoga and have read a ton of books… so I think that I am about as ready as I can be. I am having tons of contractions, but none strong enough to make much progress. For the last two weeks, I have been about 80 effaced and 1-2cm dilated so I’m basically just waiting. On Wednesday, the doc seemed pretty sure that he would see me next week (on my due date Dec 31st). I’m sure that like me, it will seem like this day will never get here… but it goes by faster than you can imagine!
12.27.03
Thanks for your good wishes! Nothing yet. As of the last 3 doc visits (spaced 1 week apart), I am 80% effaced and 1-2cm dilated. Just waiting, waiting. I have instinctively been thinking that I was going to be a week over due and then after the doctors exams, he thought that I would be early. Well, looks like it might be a week over due after all.
12.27.03
(to my preggy cousin)
I cannot stress enough the importance of having good energy around you during this sacred time. It is also important to slow down and watch the world go by rather than trying to keep the pace. There is a physical reason that our bodies go through what they do so honor it and ride along!
12.28.03
It is pretty cool that we have this mental connection. I swear, I was just thinking of you too. Nope, no visit from anyone yet! lol :) I’m just finishing a few last work things (think I’ll be done tomorrow) then I will be taking some time to meditate and let my body and baby know that I am ready so “bring it on”! :) We are quite excited needless to say. I have been thinking/feeling intuitively that I would be about a week over due. I am concerned however because the doc wants to induce me after 41 weeks but I refuse. He said that he will let me go to 42 weeks if I agree to be monitored a couple of times a week (basically, if I agree to pay more in fees, as I see it). I’m sure the baby will be here by then. Thus the need to meditate and let my body/mind know that I am ready so that it can release and let nature take its course. We are planning for a natural/unmedicated birth so the least amount of intervention is obviously best. Over all, I am feeling pretty good. Aside from banging my foot pretty good (cannot see my feet from up here these days), I have few complaints. Even my foot is feeling better after a few days. Our pool/spa finally got finished so I have been doing water exercises in the warm (not hot) spa each morning. That is a life saver since I can hardly fit in the bath tub anymore (some part of me is always hanging out).
12.29.03
As for now, I’m trying to make today my last work day so that I can meditate on having this baby before too long. Seems like I keep saying that… every day is my last work day, but hopefully there is some truth to it this time! lol :)
12.30.03
Tax deduction would be ideal, but I gather that I am going to be about a week over due. Just a feeling that I have been having for a long time. I then got a little excited by the progress even though I have heard a hundred times that the exams will not predict a due date.
Yes, yes, yes, when we woke, there was real show everywhere. Not just the ice in the gutter that we get sometimes, but real snow all over the ground. It was so exciting for me. I took pics and everything! You know us California Girls… this is pretty exciting news to see snow on your own grass. I went for a prenatal massage this morning and by the time that I got back, most of the snow had melted already. Fun while it lasted!
NOTE AFTER THE FACT: I left the part about the snow in… if you live in Vegas, you will remember the day before New Years Eve that it snowed… real snow, not that fake kind. It was the day before I went into labor and I went for my last massage. It was very memorable. This beautiful life inside and snow everywhere outside!
1.3.04
We just got home from the hospital with our baby boy! :) He is Morgan Bre Taylor and he was born on 1.1.04 @ 8:29 a.m. He is healthy and beautiful and weighed 7 lbs and 2 oz at birth, 21 inches long.
1.3.04
I don’t have to tell you what a miracle this is for me. One thing that I will say… when Morgan came out, I cried like I have never cried before and probably will never cry again! It was the most beautiful experience of my life!
1.3.04
Yep, we missed that by a little. We were right on track for the tax break, but it turns out that Morgan will be an artist, not a banker! lol :)
1.3.04
In short, you can only imagine what it will be like and at that, it will only be 1/10th of what is really is! This is the most beautiful miracle in the world!
1.3.04
Meet our son Morgan! Surya, thank you for everything. Without your inspiration, my pregnancy and Morgan’s birth would not have been the same. Your spirit is beautiful, giving, and endless!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.3.04
I am so happy to share in the joys of motherhood. It is something that you think you understand, but being here is like being inside of the glass that I used to look through! I cannot express the emotions that I am feeling except to say that I know you know. One thing that really surprised me was how I cried when Morgan came out. I have never cried that hard before and cannot imagine an occasion when anything will be close in comparison.
1.4.04
My birth, was beautiful and I have a wonderful, healthy baby. It was not all natural nor how I planned and I could use a good meditation to ….”Let go, Let God”! :) And yes, I do know my true existence now. I have for a long time known that something was missing for me and believed that this was it. I must say though that when they placed Morgan on my bare chest right after birth, I cried like I have never cried before (hard, long whaling!). I am so happy! :)
1.4.04
Dad is doing very well. He was so supportive during labor and delivery. He watched out for me and Morgan to be sure that we were healthy and strong. He is a wonderful father! We both take long moments where we just sit and stare at Morgan wondering how this is all possible! We could not be more happy! It is very nice that we both are home all the time. It will allow Daddy to spend more time with his son and allow me to work a little without ever being gone. We are blessed in so many ways! :)
1.9.04
(telling a friend about the birth)
I’m happy to share my story, but it was not as successful as I would have liked but Morgan is healthy and beautiful just the same. Here it is in short and please feel free to forward to your friend and pass my email address along. These days, email is best because my scheduled is no longer mine. :) Since I have just been through birthing, I know what it is like to want to hear about others. I was fortunate to have several people share their stories include the births of you and your brother. :)
My plan: 100% all natural childbirth in a hospital setting (because I personally was not comfortable enough to do it at home even though that would be the ideal experience and would have made our house that much more special).
What happened:
- Woke up in labor on 12.31.03 @ 6am
- figured this was the day as I lost most of my mucus plug the night before and was loosing the rest.
- went in the spa and relaxed and did gentle exercise
- went to my doc apt at 1130a as planned. he said I was 4cm dilated and that I could go to the hospital. I did not want to go to early so with his permission, we went to lunch and went shopping (Note: I had to eat light because I had been vomiting earlier - only time I actually got sick my whole pregnancy)
- got to the hospital at 5pm, was 8cm dilated
- within 2 hours, dilated to 10cm, but still had a little further to go for the effacement of my cervix.
- doc wanted to break my bag of waters which was still in tact. This is were some confusion came in. I was pretty out of it and I guess that I had agreed to let the doc do this, but that was not how I remembered it. After talking to Shön, he said, “Rebecca, I want to break your bag of waters”. I replied “ok… (hesitating)” as in acknowledging he was talking and then started asking questions. Even this confused Shön, but I did not actually mean “please break my water”.
- the doc broke my bag of waters manually
- I digressed back to 8cm and my contractions felt stronger
- I was personally disappointed GREATLY and this is where I began to feel that I had made a mistake and gave away the rest of my choices
- for the next 4 hours, they wanted to give me pitocin to speed things up but I refused. I was not making ANY progress and the doc had let me labor for 2 hours longer than we wanted to… thanks to great coach Shön for standing up for me
- around midnight (Happy New Year! - bye bye tax break for 2003, lol), I still was not progressing. Mentally, I think that I was holding myself back, but I did not realize it at the time. I could not let go of the disappointment and pride that I had up to the breaking of my waters (I had been doing really good, I made it past the hardest part as I was concerned).
- I agreed to the pitocin as they sort of put you on a clock after you have been in the hospital for a certain amount of time (which is why I delayed going so long). I had heard of people that have taken pitocin and heard that it can be pretty hard to deal with. At that point, I was so tired and mentally drained. I felt that I had already given up my ideal birth and at that point, a healthy baby was all that I wanted. I requested an epidural before they started the pitocin. This was a serious decision for me one that I was sure I was not making just because “it hurt”.
- they gave me the epidural and the pitocin
- the epidural did not take all the way so I still experienced a lot of pain. they let me rest for a couple of hours.
- couple of hours later, they checked me and I still had not progressed, and were saying that my “contractions were not adequate” enough to make progress. They wanted to give me more pitocin (increase the amount). They removed the first epidural and gave me a second one since the first one was not working… at that point, my position was that if they were going to give me drugs… damn it, they had better work! lol
- I slept off and on for a few hours. Shön stayed awake the whole time watching the monitor for me and Morgan to be sure that we were ok.
- around 6am (or so), they did another exam and I still had not progressed past 8cm… I had now been at 8cm since around 7pm the night before (11 hours!). This is where they became very concerned and continued to let me labor.
- around 6:35am, the nurse came in to let me know that I still was not progressing. she had been communicating with the doctor throughout the night. she was talking to Shön explaining that under these circumstances that the doc would likely want to do a c-section but that there was a 50% chance that he would let us labor a little longer. She was instructed to check me again at 6:55a (20 short minutes) then to report back to the doctor. I got upset and told the nurse and Shön to take their conversation out of the room because I did not need to hear that. Both of them explained to me that I needed to know in case it was necessary. I felt that if it were truly necessary, that I would have no choice so it did not matter if I knew the details, only that Shön understand as the one “watching my back”. I started to cry, a c-section would have been the worst possible out come for my otherwise very healthy pregnancy. I did not feel that it was necessary.
- In short… two things needed to happen… I needed to progress 2cm in 20 minutes - something that did not happen in the last 11.5 hours since they broke my water AND Morgan was facing sideways and needed to turn (definite c-section without that).
- This was not going to happen! I was going to get back on track and that was all that there was to it! I asked where Morgan’s face was pointing so that I could visualize it. I took both of my hands and placed them on my belly. Shön put one of his hands there to. We both sent energy to my belly as I repeated “Morgan, turn and come out, turn and come out”. I talked very directly to the baby so that Morgan would know that this was the time that we really needed to “make it happen”. After all, Morgan and I communicated all throughout my pregnancy, so why not now? I had been meditating long before this, but this was way more serious and concentrated and with Shön’s energy too!
- 6:55am, I was fully dilated and fully effaced and ready to push! The nurse talked me through a few practice pushes before calling the doc. Morgan’s head was showing and she called the doc and told me not to push (note: with all natural deliveries, whether or not to push is not an option when it is ready. it is the epidural that allows you not to push and be able to bear it).
- The doc showed up at 7:30 and told me that I would be pushing for about an hour. This seamed like a long time, but it really was only for a few strong contractions. They gave me a little more into my epidural since it had been so long.
- The doc was now talking me though pushing. He wanted to do an episiotomy which I did not want. He was certain that I would tear and I preferred to tear but at the same time, I had this immense fear that I had come so far that now we just needed to finish this up. I knew that this time would come, but as it arrived, it seemed like it would never get here.
(note about the birthing position: I was lying back with my legs/feet being held by the nurse and by Shön in a reclined squatting position. The yoga was very helpful here and I remember the nurses being surprised and commenting on my flexibility. The stretching was also very relieving as I had been in bed since the epidural. My hips and lower back immediate cracked as I lifted each leg. Prior to that, I tried every labor position I could think of including squatting, standing, leaning, kneeling, sitting on a birthing ball, etc.)
- note about monitoring: at first, they did external monitoring. I only wanted intermittent, but since I was so far progressed, I did not mind that they ended keeping it on. Before the epidural, they put an internal monitor in me (just a wand that sits inside the canal), after the epidural, they put a different internal monitor in me that had a little screwy thing that touched Morgan’s head.) The entire time, Morgan stayed strong and there was never any concern for his health/safety which is why they let me go beyond the “normal hospital time limits” for my progress stages.
- I pushed and pushed and the doc was very firm with me, prior to this, he was very soft spoken, almost shy like. This was very encouraging for me as I needed the mental strength.
- He did the episiotomy before the last push
- I looked down and saw Morgan’s head coming out. I waited and the body just followed behind.
- they then put Morgan on my chest (per my request) skin-to-skin while they were dealing with the cord. I started crying and cried harder and longer than I can ever remember. Shön said that taken out of context, he would not have know what to do if he heard me cry like that. I was more happy than I ever thought possible!
Since then, I have been recovering. They kept me in the hospital for 24 hours after the birth, about 48 hours total by the time that I got checked out. Mentally, I have been meditating on “letting go, letting God” as I release my disappointments. Also, having a ton of hormones has contributed to the range of feelings that followed. Overall, I am more happy that I could have ever asked to be and I now truly understand what a miracle this life is! :) Please feel free to share this with your friend. Don’t know how applicable it will be, but as they say, every birth is different and unique and as I have learned first hand, we cannot always control everything.
Thanks for asking and reading/listening. This has been a helpful for me to type this all out. :)
I should note that my birth was in no way a bad or negative experience unto itself. Because of the way I am personally, I just thought that I could “will” it to be what I wanted and was disappointed when it was not even though it was wonderful! …letting go, letting God!
NOTE AFTER THE FACT: It took me a few days to put this together to email to my friend. I could not type more than a couple paragraphs with out crying. While never forgetting my happiness, I was extremely disappointed with the use of drugs and the episiotomy. I felt that as much as I had prepared, that it should have been more the way I wanted it. My thoughts hovered on the choice/misunderstanding about breaking my water. I felt embarrassed at being a “natural mother” with an unnatural childbirth. For many, my experience may have almost been ideal, but for me, I was very let down despite my joy for Morgan’s presence. Today (4.16.04) I am more accepting/at peace with the entire process, but even still, I am “Letting Go, Letting God”.
